courtesy of buzzfeed via Jeff Kandyba

Time to Get Serious

If you were looking for another Bachelorette article, you have come to the wrong place (stay tuned though). Today, I’m going to tackle a more serious issue and get a little personal, so sit down, buckle up, and enjoy.

*DISCLAIMER: If you haven’t gathered by now, I am a raging feminist, and if you are not/think I’m wrong, I think you’re wrong and you’ll probably get mad at this blog and should stop reading. *insert angry meninist here*


I have been following the Taylor Swift groping case because 1) I have no life and 2) I am overly interested in the lives of celebrities. In case you don’t know what happened, here’s a quick summary. Taylor Swift is alleging that in 2013 during a meet and greet that a radio DJ grabbed her ass. When these allegations got out, the DJ was fired from his job (rightfully so). The DJ decided to sue T-Swizzle for defamation and wants up to $3 million. *important to note, Swift did not initiate this lawsuit* Instead of letting this go, Swift is countersuing for $1. No that is not a typo. It is clearly not about the money for Swift, it is about letting men know all over the world that you cannot just grab a woman’s ass???

Before I get to T-Swift’s absolutely BAD ASS responses to questioning in court, let’s talk about the issue of victim blaming. As I drove to work Friday morning, I was listening to a morning talk show on a local radio station as they discussed this matter. The host of the show. who is a man, said how he doesn’t think Swift will win because there isn’t enough evidence. He then asked why Swift “didn’t just move the guy’s hand” off her ass. A female on the show chimed in to share a couple experiences in which her/her friends’ asses were un-welcomingly grabbed by men and how your first instinct is to not to anything. She explained “you don’t know who’s around, who this guy is, what power he has, or how he might react violently, so you kinda just freeze”. The men on the radio show immediately told her she was wrong. Literally told her that the experiences and reactions she and her friends’ had had were wrong. ……WHAT?…..

This leads into my main issue: what is it with the victim blaming. It is NOT Swift’s fault that a man grabbed her ass. It is NOT her fault that he immediate reaction wasn’t to swat the guy’s hand away (which I’m sure TMZ would’ve had a field day with). It is NOT any woman’s fault that she was sexually or physically assaulted. And y’all wonder why women don’t report this stuff? This is why.

From my own experience, it’s easy to fall into thinking this kind of stuff is your fault. One night after a night downtown at the bars, I was sober and tired and wanted to go home. I took it upon myself to leave alone and call an Uber. I thought if I walked up the street to a nice hotel, I would be safer and have a better chance getting an Uber. As I walked up the street, I was grabbed by a man in an alley who I assume wanted my purse. S/O to Sandra Bullock, because I SING-ed my way out of there, but not before he (minorly) cut my face with his knife. I was lucky. But it’ll take a lot more than a knife to rip me away from my Kate Spade purse. But after all this, as I heard myself explaining to people what happened, I heard myself blaming me. “I shouldn’t have left alone” “It’s my fault, I should’ve walked a different way” NO NO NO. It is not my fault, it is never the victim’s fault. Stop telling people, especially women, that it is their fault something happened to them.

Unfortunately for this DJ, T-Swift did not react as I did, and is not having this lawsuit at all. When asked if she was critical of her bodyguard not stopping the groping, Swift said  she is not critical of her bodyguard: “I’m critical of your client sticking his hand under my skirt and grabbing my ass.” When asked if she could see the incident directly Swift said she couldn’t see exactly because her “ass in the back of her body.” When asked if she was open to the possibility that it was someone else. “He had a handful of my ass. I know it was him.” On Mueller’s (the DJ) firing Swift said “I am not going to allow your my client to make me feel like it is anyway my fault because it isn’t.”

*Testimony quotes courtesy of  Claudia Rosenbaum of Buzzfeed News’ Twitter


There’s witnesses, there’s a victim, and there’s a picture, and people STILL think he’ll get off. I’ve honestly seen more support for R.Kelly in whatever alleged sex slave ring he’s running than Taylor Swift in this matter and I am confused.

To sum up: I’m fightin’ with ya T-Swift.

If you would like to see the photo of the alleged ass grab, go here .

Until next time,


Twitter: @nblais45 Insta: _nikkiblais

And the Bachelor is….

Alright. Sorry in advance for two Bachelorette blogs in a row but after Monday night, how can I not??

If you’re like me, you’re still reeling from the absolutely devastating moment that was Rachel and Peter’s break up. I think it takes the cake for most gut wrenching, real, raw moment in the history of the show. Watching that happen was almost as disappointing as when they announced Nick was the Bachelor last year. Rachel literally cried her eyelashes off for Peter, hell, I cried my eyelashes off and I wasn’t wearing fake ones.

I mean, in the real world, what Peter was saying is totally normal. If a guy proposed to me after 2 months and like 5 dates, I would be slightly alarmed, but that’s not how the Bachelorette works. We know he’s seen the show since he wrote in his high school yearbook that he wanted to “be on the Bachelor”, so it should be no shock what is expected of him at the end. And imagine being Rachel. She went on the Bachelor wanting to get engaged and got her heart broken. Imagine doing that process all over again and STILL not being engaged. I wouldn’t want that. Whether or not you think she settled for a ring, I think it’s undeniable that she has love for Bryan.

But now the fun part: who will be the next Bachelor?? It should be Dean, but they sent him to Paradise, and according to spoilers, he has a girlfriend-ish thing. ABC could continue it’s “firsts” and have the first Bachelor in Eric. Eric really came out of his shell at and after hometowns, and I think we definitely slept on him too long. And TBH, that beard is WORKING. Rachel and Bryan were both quoted saying they think the Bachelor should be week-six-send-home Alex, ya know, the beautiful Russian man who deserved more time because yum.

Now as far as who it shouldn’t be; I will be really disappointed in ABC and the Bachelor himself if it’s Peter. After the tear fest of Peter saying he needs more time and breaking both Rachel’s and my heart, he can’t turn around and be the Bachelor. He, like most of America, probably isn’t cut out for the 3 month engagement thing, but don’t take that stand on TV and then sell out for money/fame/whatever. But I am also a sell out because if they make him the Bachelor I will still watch because yum.

But for now, I’m looking forward to the epic drama that is Bachelor in Paradise. And I’ll probably write blogs about that too because duh.

p.s. @ABC, I write so much about your shows, can I get a sponsor? No? Okay.

Until next episode,


Twitter: @nblais45 Insta: _nikkiblais


Let’s Talk about The Bachelorette

*Disclaimer: if you are not up to date, there will be spoilers ahead.

I have recently become a slave to Bachelor Nation, watching each episode religiously as it pops up on Hulu. And I have to say, after Nick Viall’s season had me questioning my loyalty to the franchise, Rachel Lindsay has reaffirmed me as a believer. She is a confident, beautiful, bad-ass African American woman, who also happens to be a lawyer. She is the kind of woman you want your kids to look up to. The men this season are A+. They make me melt like a popsicle on the 4th of July.

This past episode was hometown dates featuring Bryan, Peter, Eric, and real life Ken Doll Dean, who has talked several times about the tumultuous relationship he has with his family, his father in particular. Since the episode aired, there have been several articles and tweets saying that ABC and the Bachelor took advantage of Dean’s situation for ratings and forced him into something he didn’t want to do. People are also angry that after “airing out his dirty laundry”, Rachel sent him packing.

I have to say, I usually love reading articles about Bachelor gossip, but on this particular week, I completely disagree with everything.

Let me start by saying, Dean completely won me over. He seems like a great person and his face has been sculpted by the gods. But let’s not pretend Dean didn’t know what he was signing up for. The Bachelorette has been on for 13 seasons now. It is no secret what happens. Contestants for as long as can be remembered, if they make it to the final four, have to bring the Bachelorette to their hometown. I relate to him so much as I have an awful relationship with my dad and I wouldn’t want that aired out either, but I didn’t sign up for a reality show. And let’s not pretend like the Bachelor or any reality TV for that matter has ever been overtly moral. With that being said, we also know what we are signing on for when we watch the show. You can angry tweet about how much this bothered you all you want, but if you go back next week and watch the final 3, your tweets mean absolutely nothing.

Don’t get me wrong, it was totally raw and emotional and maybe pushed the boundaries of TV, but that’s how it’s always been. And while I am surprised that ABC let Rachel send Dean home after all that, I don’t blame her if she had stronger feelings for the other men. Whether the show and the drama is fake or not, the feelings, the proposal, and the eventual (maybe) wedding are real, and we cannot expect Rachel to marry a man just because we feel bad for him.

With all this being said, @Dean, I am available.


Twitter: @nblais45 Insta: _nikkiblais