courtesy of buzzfeed via Jeff Kandyba

Time to Get Serious

If you were looking for another Bachelorette article, you have come to the wrong place (stay tuned though). Today, I’m going to tackle a more serious issue and get a little personal, so sit down, buckle up, and enjoy.

*DISCLAIMER: If you haven’t gathered by now, I am a raging feminist, and if you are not/think I’m wrong, I think you’re wrong and you’ll probably get mad at this blog and should stop reading. *insert angry meninist here*


I have been following the Taylor Swift groping case because 1) I have no life and 2) I am overly interested in the lives of celebrities. In case you don’t know what happened, here’s a quick summary. Taylor Swift is alleging that in 2013 during a meet and greet that a radio DJ grabbed her ass. When these allegations got out, the DJ was fired from his job (rightfully so). The DJ decided to sue T-Swizzle for defamation and wants up to $3 million. *important to note, Swift did not initiate this lawsuit* Instead of letting this go, Swift is countersuing for $1. No that is not a typo. It is clearly not about the money for Swift, it is about letting men know all over the world that you cannot just grab a woman’s ass???

Before I get to T-Swift’s absolutely BAD ASS responses to questioning in court, let’s talk about the issue of victim blaming. As I drove to work Friday morning, I was listening to a morning talk show on a local radio station as they discussed this matter. The host of the show. who is a man, said how he doesn’t think Swift will win because there isn’t enough evidence. He then asked why Swift “didn’t just move the guy’s hand” off her ass. A female on the show chimed in to share a couple experiences in which her/her friends’ asses were un-welcomingly grabbed by men and how your first instinct is to not to anything. She explained “you don’t know who’s around, who this guy is, what power he has, or how he might react violently, so you kinda just freeze”. The men on the radio show immediately told her she was wrong. Literally told her that the experiences and reactions she and her friends’ had had were wrong. ……WHAT?…..

This leads into my main issue: what is it with the victim blaming. It is NOT Swift’s fault that a man grabbed her ass. It is NOT her fault that he immediate reaction wasn’t to swat the guy’s hand away (which I’m sure TMZ would’ve had a field day with). It is NOT any woman’s fault that she was sexually or physically assaulted. And y’all wonder why women don’t report this stuff? This is why.

From my own experience, it’s easy to fall into thinking this kind of stuff is your fault. One night after a night downtown at the bars, I was sober and tired and wanted to go home. I took it upon myself to leave alone and call an Uber. I thought if I walked up the street to a nice hotel, I would be safer and have a better chance getting an Uber. As I walked up the street, I was grabbed by a man in an alley who I assume wanted my purse. S/O to Sandra Bullock, because I SING-ed my way out of there, but not before he (minorly) cut my face with his knife. I was lucky. But it’ll take a lot more than a knife to rip me away from my Kate Spade purse. But after all this, as I heard myself explaining to people what happened, I heard myself blaming me. “I shouldn’t have left alone” “It’s my fault, I should’ve walked a different way” NO NO NO. It is not my fault, it is never the victim’s fault. Stop telling people, especially women, that it is their fault something happened to them.

Unfortunately for this DJ, T-Swift did not react as I did, and is not having this lawsuit at all. When asked if she was critical of her bodyguard not stopping the groping, Swift said  she is not critical of her bodyguard: “I’m critical of your client sticking his hand under my skirt and grabbing my ass.” When asked if she could see the incident directly Swift said she couldn’t see exactly because her “ass in the back of her body.” When asked if she was open to the possibility that it was someone else. “He had a handful of my ass. I know it was him.” On Mueller’s (the DJ) firing Swift said “I am not going to allow your my client to make me feel like it is anyway my fault because it isn’t.”

*Testimony quotes courtesy of  Claudia Rosenbaum of Buzzfeed News’ Twitter


There’s witnesses, there’s a victim, and there’s a picture, and people STILL think he’ll get off. I’ve honestly seen more support for R.Kelly in whatever alleged sex slave ring he’s running than Taylor Swift in this matter and I am confused.

To sum up: I’m fightin’ with ya T-Swift.

If you would like to see the photo of the alleged ass grab, go here .

Until next time,


Twitter: @nblais45 Insta: _nikkiblais

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