Well friends, as we approach July, I have found myself reflecting more and more everyday on the past year I had at Belmont and the events surrounding. Now let me warn you, if you are expecting this happy-go-lucky story filled with rainbows and unicorns, then I suggest you go elsewhere. We are about to get real.
Pre-fall 2015, I was beyond excited for the school year. I had just been initiated into Phi Mu and the people I had called my best friends were all of a sudden my sisters. We went almost right into recruitment, and I was so excited to be in a room full of my sisters. Now let me tell you, staying up til 4am, then going home and sleeping until 7am just to get up and do it again, ain’t all it cracked up to be. It was rough, and my relationships felt it. The weeks to follow were….interesting. I somehow managed to trip on stairs juuuust right and tear my quadricep muscle. My semester of frolicking with new friends quickly changed to me sitting in my room, barely able to make it down the stairs and get food. Needless to say, I was in a funk.
A couple months and long hard talks later, I was back on track, Christmas was around the corner, and spring semester was closely approaching. I did the typical thing that everyone does when the new year comes around: “this is going to be my year, 2016 is my year”. For a while, I thought I was right. I actually knew what I was doing in my classes, I was more involved in Phi Mu than I ever had been, and I had blossoming relationships that I was so excited about. Side note: I usually let myself get caught up in the glitter of good things, and not realize that underneath all the shine and glitter is just a dull sac of rocks. Anyway, back to the story….I was making relationships because they were convenient, not because they were what I wanted. So I found myself, sitting in my bed in my former Wedgewood townhouse, thinking to myself “welp, my best friend is leaving for the summer, this is going to be a fun summer with my mom living at home #party”.
Then, the craziest thing happened, so suddenly that I didn’t even realize it happened until now. I was a part of a group of people, who all genuinely love and care about each other. It’s just easy, and spontaneous, I mean hell, we all went and got tattoos together the other night (sorry mom and grandma, surprise!). This is something I have needed for a long time, and now I have it. I am lucky.
All of this is useless if I don’t tell you what I’ve learned. ONE: friendship ain’t easy, it’s the people who stick around when you look like a drowned rat in a puddle of tears you want in your life. TWO: always, always, always count your blessing, not your problems, it’ll put you in a much better mindset. And finally, be patient, don’t force things to happen, they will happen naturally, and you will end up where you need to be.
Until next time
(considering my mom lets me live after the bomb I just dropped)